SEAL ON PSYCHEDELICS

Kreayshawn // Somethin ‘Bout Kreay // September 18 // Columbia

Cliches are terrible, even worse when they’re mixed with terrible wordplay and a carefree attitude towards production. There’s only so much tackiness that a human being can handle and if you have no idea what I’m going to talk about then where the hell have you been for the last year? Let me put everything into perspective. On the second track on her debut LP Somethin ‘Bout Kreay which is called Ch00k Ch00k Kreayshawn starts singing in russian before turning the song into trap reimagining of M.I.A.’s career. Welcome to the twisted world of Kreayshawn.

She’s been dissed, she’s been hated on, she’s even been praised by some. All on the strength of a single track. Gucci Gucci dropped on Youtube last year and spread like quickfire. It sounded like a female Lil B that cuts the bullshit and just delivers few lines dissing everyone who base their career on the material and superficial. First impression is hard to rid off and Kreayshawn has defined everything that she’s ever going to do by that single song. Gucci Gucci makes its way onto Kreayshawn’s major label debut and it sticks out like a sore thumb among the rest of the album that is neither scathing, offensive nor is it daring and anti establishment. At some point you will start to question whether this whole thing is for real, you’ll do that as soon as you can stop laughing at the quality of the material on here.

The album opens with the now typical “haters gonna hate” sentiment that is done to death by anyone that raps. Term rapping is used loosely here. For every moment where Kreayshawn manages to string a punchline together there’s the verse or chorus where you suddenly realise that she’s just speaking, or even worse, singing. Somethin ‘Bout Kreay is offensive to tastes, therefore it’s the best when it just goes dumb. Left Ey3 is the highlight on here, classic trap fitting in the so bad it’s good category. Sadly there’s not many tracks like that. Kreayshawn instead focuses on her haters and annoying them further. Summertime, something that can loosely described as a radio friendly single, features the legendary V-Nasty who delivers the verse of her lifetime which is still worse than anything I’ve heard this year. Like It Or Love It displays her annoying singing voice and, for some reason, features Kid Cudi who sounds like he’d rather be anywhere else than on that track. Bff (Bestfriend) sounds like an aborted Katy Perry track riddled with 8-bit keyboards. Next time your friends complain about how terrible is Nicki Minaj, just point them towards this track. There’s a certain car crash appeal to Somethin ‘Bout Kreay and I can definitely enjoy that there is a major label artist that doesn’t take themselves serious but my god, the music on here it fucking atrocious.

If anything Somethin ‘Bout Kreay is highly amusing. Generic trap like the actually fucking hilarious Breakfast (Syrup) being preceded by the Diplo produced dancefloor slammer Twerkin!!! (featuring someone called Sissy Nobby, amazing) which itself is followed by a couple of sugary teen pop songs. The record feels like a sickening ride on the world’s most ridiculous roller coaster while having candy floss stuck to your eye balls. Major label pop is rarely this amusing. Shame about the music though.